Name

The dawn had whisked the batter,

hungry, my eyes looked for you.

A warm smile was on the platter,

served me right for the day was due.

Merry-go-round, 

a joy ride everyday.

things seemed to fade away

with you at my bay.

Tinker-tailor-soldier-spy,
to what does our heart pry.
Hardly are those fates braided,
In a blink of an eye, separated.

Myopic my vision,

echos now in the empty spaces.

Like a wash from the river, 

blurred, I see empty faces.

Many paths we did walk together,

now our destinations have changed.

Fly far away to the unknown,

but remember the name.

Futile Attempts

One more step, one more line,
one more attempt, one more push
And it was one more of everything.
Hanging in there,
it felt like a start-over

Here were my futile attempts,
to hold the wind in my hand,
to make the time stop,
to hold on to that slipping hand
to deny the inevitable

I have now lost my mind
oh what does not kill you just makes you stranger.
I wouldn't recognize me anymore.
Those eyes that shone bright once,
now echos emptiness, here are my blue words
to those lost rush, breathlessness, madness
now the silence has befallen.

Dripping are those warm blood,
burning are the chest and throat,
blank stares at the oblivion,
I hold hands to pull you up,
I slip further down with you,
just hang in there a moment longer,
futile they may be those attempts,
finding cure to this insatiable hunger

Her

Filling in the shoes, a size too big,

balancing the ways through life.

The comforter, the naive,

never have I had that charm.

To you, she is impeccable,

your heart, so forgiving.

Envious I am of what I see,

I am not her, never for you.

I am not her, never for me,

she is smart, she is mysterious,

I have no reservation to what I think.

Giving out too much, too soon,

Not just my thoughts,

but also my dreams and prayers.

I weave my world, a spider around you,

You, my dear were a butterfly, you flew away.

Never did I see how wrong I was not to see,

that she, a queen bee, and I, a venomous creature.

She, the woman of your dreams, your nightmares and your past, just Her everywhere.

For you, she seems perfect. For me, “I am just not her”.

Butterfly

Running in the fields to catch those butterflies,
mesmerized by the color, the flutter.
Patches on my blue flowy skirt,
hopped on to the meadows, I twirled.

Such a pretty girl,
here are the pink butterflies for you.
I wore the symbol, a pendant,
soon clutched in it, its hard to breathe when my butterfly flew away from my hands

Suffocating those thread, I broke the chains apart.
These pretty pink butterflies, I have caged you again.
I however have to go for now, a season of transformation calls
A new meadow beckons, empty they are for now,
Spring shall come soon, and I shall run wild, again like and with those butterflies.

Dear Empath

A Midas touch, you seep in the misery from others,
where are you to contain all that you have soaked?
Like the dam that has overflowed with compassion,
you tear up to the unfairness and unkindness.

Protecting others from the scorching sun,
never did you realize how much darkness you had garnered in your shadow.
Avid listener, you seem to seek white noise,
the thumping of heart and head of all you care for, deafens your senses.

You my dear deserve appreciation,
not all love like you do, neither care like you do.
Let go of your reservations and that fake smile,
cry your heart out, for others they ache.

You see the world with microscope, eyes wide open,
eyes closed, you dream of a perfect getaway with others.
Miracle worker, you soothe, you heal, you pray,
you dream, you are patient, you are kind.

Like the ripple in the lake,
your thoughts have wave of transition.
You my dear are a Firefly, let your light shine,
shine-on, for you deserve all you desire in your life.

Daisy

You are my flower, blooming and blossoming are your smiles.

Slim are your hands like the stems, the way you moved reminds me of delicate bud on wind.

The twirl you did when we danced, white sun dress, put the flower to shame.

You bring fragrance to the air I breathe, and with every breath, I dive deeper in your love.

The first time I saw you with those flower crowns, your eyes shined like the dew drops.

Hearts and flowers, I was with the first flower I bought for you.

No Roses for you because you are my daisy,

your frizzy hair are to blame for it, hooked I have been to them.

The first time we held hands, you had these white bouquet clenched to your heart.

Today you walk towards me with both hands holding these white flowers,

with those eyes, that smile, in a white dress,

melting my heart from afar to hold my hands forever and be mine.

The one with an annual female friend

Since valentine's day is around the corner, it reminded me that it is time for me to contact all my eligible male friends. In the sense, they are just my friends but seem to be very popular among ladies. To clear my point, they are not playboys, they just happen to have done engineering in Thailand where only one-third of the population are boys. Now, what I mean by contacting is, if they were to receive dark chocolates on the occasion, they are mine by the treaty of brotherhood.

While I have always felt like DUFF of the group, one thing that almost always happened each passing year of engineering was a new female friend right around the corner of valentine's day. From taking a peak interest in me, my research and eventually my friends. The moment I told them that my guy friend was in a relationship they quit being friends with me. 

So, this is a three part story, the first is a long lost friend who contacted me though social media and inquired whereabouts about a dear guy friend. While they did end up being friends, the word, "I like you" by her was enough for my friend to be enraged and eventual deactivation of social media. Well needless to say she unfriended me.

The second, we shall call it the one where I could not see it. In a gathering full of girls, when I invited my guy friends, all my female friends were doting on these men. When the party was over, I walked with one of them, stopped him in the middle of the road, checked him out because we had been friends for five years and I still could not see what was so enchanting about him. I do adore him from the bottom of my heart, but I do fail to see the charm.

The third was with the invitation for group dinner, from just acknowledging my presence for 3 months, the things changed within a weekend when a dear female friend of mine had lunch with this particular guy friend. And it ended with regards and almost hugs, which I am not used to.

While there may have been a perception that I may put out a good word, I cannot. I have no power over my dear guy friends. So this is a commemoration letter to all the possible friendship I lost because I had likable guy friends but I still happen to be waiting for all the dark chocolates.